The Mechanics

The idea that i am not what i once was to someone important to me is eating me. Things have taken a 180 and gone the direction that i never thought they would. My heart is constantly attempting to tear itself from my chest and run into the dark and hide away from this feeling. Most of the time i just miss the daily even hourly texting and laughing. Every once in a while it comes back up to the surface, this thought that ravages my soul and kicks me while i am down. I am no longer the one you turn to, no longer the one that is in the forefront of your mind. Left behind in a cloud of dust seeping into every pore and wrinkle in my skin leaving me staggering to find my way to safety. 


It was supposed to be me holding you close and playing with your hair. It was supposed to be me placing smiles on those amazing lips and perfect cheek bones. I, the man who would conquer the world for you, is now the man leaning on a bottle of the captain. The captain lends me a shoulder and hears my broken sentences, warming my cold body and wiping my wet dirty face. 


Under the circumstances i am surprisingly the same man and my heart still reaches for you. I can only fight a battle that i am asked to join. These arms are tired from being outstretched but still they embrace the air waiting for your warmth.I have not forgotten your words nor have i forgotten your needs and desires. 


when you need me you know were to turn and you know i will be here hiding in the shadows with a place by my side.